English Culture and Kids’ Football: 10 Funny Rules Every Child Follows

English culture is an inseparable part of the language.

This is the first post in a series about English culture where we will explore the language and the way of being and thinking of the English.

Our first article is a lighthearted and humorous look at the habits of English boys when playing football.

After many years in abroad, it seems that children’s football in other countries isn’t so different from in England. Except, of course, for the skills 🙂

Below we have “10 rules of football as a kid”

The 10 rules of football for kids

The fattest one is always the goalkeeper.
The person whose ball it is decides who plays.
Penalties are only awarded if the injured player swears a lot.
The match only ends when everyone is tired.
No matter how many you are winning by the winner is always determined by “next goal wins.”
No referee.
If nobody has a football, a plastic bottle will do.
If you are picked last, you have no hope in life.
Getting a football stuck under a car is the most stressful part of life.
When the owner of the ball gets pissed off, it’s game over.

The fattest one is always the goalkeeper.
The person whose ball it is decides who plays.
Penalties are only awarded if the injured player swears a lot.
The match only ends when everyone is tired.
No matter how many you are winning by the winner is always determined by “next goal wins.”
No referee.
If nobody has a football, a plastic bottle will do.
If you are picked last, you have no hope in life.
Getting a football stuck under a car is the most stressful part of life.
When the owner of the ball gets pissed off, it’s game over.